I have little to no experience in the childcare arena, but it seems to me that frustrated toddlers usually cry because they don't know what else to do. Very rarely do I feel that way. Rather, I usually want to sucker punch someone in the windpipe. Today is different.
I have had some major frustrations at work recently, and on several occasions, I have been so exasperated that my face has flushed and tears have streamed down my cheeks. I HATE crying about work because frankly, I don't have enough responsibility or make enough money to care as much as I do. Still, my desk has been a Betsy puddle multiple times in the last week. Today was the worst and though I managed to avoid a full-fledged sob-fest, I have felt an immense amount of pressure in my chest since approximately 8:45am. What scares me is that it feels kind of cold, like my whole insides are numbing. I always thought the cliche of corporate America withering your soul was a joke, and now I'm concerned that it's my reality. Pending a serious conversation with my parents about finances, I need to quit like...ASAP. I can almost always find the the whole almond in the marzipan, but I can no longer see the goodness or value in what I'm doing. I'm trying to hold off on quitting so that I'm not the 45,000,1 American without health insurance, but I honestly don't know if I can do it.
When I feel like this there are really only two things to do: watch "Defending Your Life" and eat Chinese food. The takeout is ordered, so I'm going to start the movie and do everything I can to stop grinding my teeth whilst thinking about the daily grind.
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