I'm Cuddling Your Heart Right Now

My roommate and my twin are the world's most perfect girls.  It is like, shocking how incredible they are.  Though I have usually given my stermp of approval to their various boyfriends, I have yet to meet a man I think is truly deserving, probably because I have impossible standards for them.  I try so hard to look for the best in their guys, but even a tiny mistake triggers a response I try very hard to suppress--my inner Lorena Bobbitt.  Seriously, it's a good thing that distance prevents me from acting on all of my irrational inclinations.

When either of my favorite girls get upset, I always try to empathize whilst helping them rationalize what happened with their respective boys.  I know when I've been upset about a guy it's important to have someone ground my thinking.  More than anything I want to make sure that my ladies assume the best in who their dating.  That way, the universe isn't completely off thrown off balance while I'm busy HATING/eternally punishing their boyfriends for being insensitive, slack-jawed Neanderthals. 

Truly, there is little that hurts worse than watching either of them suffer--especially because of boy problems.  I know it's all part of the dating process, but I find it miserable that I can only offer bits of advice, unconditional love, hugs and a pint of Ben & Jerry's.  They are TREASURES and deserve the best.  I'm thankful that they remember how special they are for the most part, though I wish they could spend a few hours looking at themselves through my eyes.  

I'm radiating my love into the universe, girls.  I hope you can feel it.

Wishful To Do List

I just had a wundebar weekend.  I saw a movie, laughed with friends, hiked and ate popcorn...totally living the dream.  As I lie in bed thinking about the week ahead, I realized that I am enjoying a fantastic life right now.  Still, I love to dream about all the things that will be part of my future.  There are near-term items and long-term to dos, but regardless, I love the promise of what might be.  Below, in no particular order, is an incomplete list of some things that I want to do.

1. Become a runner.  (Start running.  Run a 5k.  Run a half-marathon.  Run a marathon.)

2. Put pictures in the empty frames around my room.

3. Talk to my family.  NOTE: This will always be on the list because I always want to talk to my Mom, Dad, sister and twin.

4. Learn to sight read music.

5. Make soft pretzels with my Mom.

6. Meet a man who can convince me that I should make the appropriate adjustments to include him as a regular part of my life.

7. Own a dog.

8. Start my day with yoga.

9. Visit India, Greece, France, Belgium, Egypt, Botswana, Vietnam, South Africa, Tibet, Denmark...

10. Find a comprehensive list of classic American literature and read every book.

A lot of lists stop at 10, so I'll follow suit.  Still, there is so much more that I hope to fill my life with and can't wait to slowly start accomplishing things.  One of these days I'll compile a comprehensive list, prioritize and really get going.  Yet for the time being I'm going to smile and wish.  That cool?

"He no eat no meat? That's okay...I make lamb."

After reading a book called "The China Study" I was 100% convinced that it was necessary for me to become a vegan.  My family tree is riddled with cancer on both sides, and doing something radical with my diet seemed like the best way to take charge in hopes no malignant solicitors would knock on my door and ask to come in.  I endured for several months, but consuming no dairy felt really limiting and it was hard to find things to eat unless I cooked for myself at every meal. Eventually I caved and went full-on carnivore for a few weeks.  The zeal with which I sought out bacon was seriously upsetting.  

Anyfoof, I started to feel slightly guilty for falling off the wagon and that prompted me to pick up vegetarianism.  I also picked up a PETA pamphlet, which is why I've had no problems staying away from meat for the last five months.  I'm sure they exaggerate in those things, but what's done to animals in the name of food production is seriously cruel. I won't share horror stories because Halloween is over.  However, there is some really terrible stuff happening on farms, in PetsMart, at the circus, etc.

So here I am, a vegetarian.  The thing is, I HATE IT.  There is nothing that would please me more than eating a Chipotle burrito with steak.  Furthermore, I've always wanted to own a leather couch and I think fur coats are gorgeous.  The fact that I'm so committed to something that makes me borderline miserable is fascinating.  There are so many changes I've wanted to make in my life, but very rarely do I commit in a lasting way.  I see no end in sight, and it gives me faith that I have the ability to make a choice and stick with it.  Next on the agenda?  Tackling overconsumption.  I don't care if no animals were killed in the making of my brie, it's still pretty gross to eat half a wheel in one sitting.  Shhh don't tell.