One Dress, Four Reactions

This morning was weird.

Jolted awake by my alarm, I was ripped out of an intensely emotional dream about an ex-boyfriend. Confused and slightly embarrassed that he invaded my subconscious, I decided to laze around instead of getting ready. This, of course, resulted in me running obscenely behind schedule.

For the pattern-spotters/detectives of the world, it is hugely obvious when I've gotten ready in a rush. Almost guaranteed, I will be wearing one of two go-to dresses, my hair will be in a ponytail, and my eyeliner won't extend all the way to the edge of my eyelid. Like clockwork, people. Still, I never leave the house looking entirely unpresentable. This morning followed suit.

After run-walking out of the house and crowding on to the Metro, today was business as usual. However, when I got on the train, a woman leapt up and offered me her seat. Slightly puzzled, I let her know I was fine standing. I couldn't figure out why a middle-aged woman would give a healthy-looking 23 year-old her seat. Those things are valuable! Like, REALLY valuable. Like, regular citizens become pumas when they think someone in a seat is planning to get off the train.

And then it dawned on me: she totally thought I was pregnant.

While I certainly don't have abs of steel or even a particularly flat stomach (OREOS!), I don't look pregnant enough to be offered a seat worth its weight in gold. Rather, I was wearing a short cream trapeze dress with a giant bow. Think about that description for a minute--it totally sounds like a maternity item, yah? Compounding the issue, I have relatively thin legs. In a similar situation, I would probably make the same mistake. I spent the rest of the ride cursing my wardrobe choice/wishing I had a faux-wedding ring. The only thing worse than being mistook for pregnant is being mistook for pregnant and single! Judgement city.

Anyway, the major outcome is that I decided that the aforementioned dress should no longer be a go-to item in my wardrobe unless my cabbage patch is growing a Pammy.

...but, the plot thickens!

At work I stopped by the office of the crankiest woman in the entire world. She's said one nice thing to me ever, and it hardly counts because it was in an email. Yet this morning, she sees me and straight away hits me with: "You look especially lovely today." Um--what? Slightly bolstered, I thanked her. I'm certain she doesn't think I'm pregnant, so I figured the universe was rebalancing itself.

Flash forward three hours. I see another colleague, who tells me that she loves my dress. Flash forward another two hours. I'm leaving work and a man on the street tells me that I look really nice. I don't live in a movie--why was a cute stranger talking to me?

So confounded--I can't decide whether to burn or champion the dress! Wish I could have Gallup run a poll for me or something...

Chocolate Chip Cookies Test Lab

Rob (my BFF and then some) is hosting an Oscar party tonight and I've agreed to make a number of sweet treats. Most notably, I'm baking chocolate chip cookies, which were quite the hit at his Golden Globes party. So much so, that people who RSVP'd to the Oscar party specifically requested that the "crack cookies" be present.

As a bit of context, Sara (my twin) and I used to be FAMOUS for our chocolate chip cookies in high school. For many years I refused to make them without her, but when I found out she regularly baked them while we were apart (traitor!), I decided to cave and have been happily fattening up my friends ever since.

The thing is that recently, the cookies have been really finicky! Two times, the cookies have turned out really fluffy (in a bad way) and too salty. Consequently, I bought new salt and halved the baking soda for the next batch. However, the cookies that should have been perfect were overly flat. Why God, WHY?!

As you can imagine, I was very concerned that my Oscar cookies would be sub-par. I decided to buy extra chocolate chips, just to make sure I had extra resources in case the first batch was disappointing.

Flash forward to this morning: the first cookies had excellent flavor, but were flat again. FIE!

For the second batch of cookies, I used heaping cups of flour and the cookies turned out...drumroll please...

PERFECT.

Whew.

Crisis averted.

On a related note, I believe I've set a new world record for the amount of cookie dough consumed in a 3 hour period. Call me, Guinness.

For Chile and Haiti specifically, for the universe--broadly.

"Society is composed of two classes: the forgetting and the forgot, and it sometimes happens that chance orders them to change places."

-Naked Truths and Veiled Allusions

I'm not currently "the forgot," but don't have to be "the forgetting." Through prayer, volunteering or monetary donation, do your part to help.

7 Happy Inducing Things

I look at the picture above and wonder if it's really that simple. Do the gods simply roll a die to decide who's going to have a good day? If so, lady luck was on my side this morning because today has been and continues to be a phenomenal day. See the proof below in chronological order.

1) I used iTunes to make a genius playlist based on "Secret Heart" by Feist and it is SO! GOOD!

2) Work was exciting and productive.

3) My friend Sean has had a crush on a boy for months and he stopped by my office today to tell me the adorably sweet story of how Mark kissed him. YAY!

4) I met the daughter of the guy who founded the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

4) I had lunch with my friend Annie. On the menu was pizza topped with goat cheese, sun dried tomatoes and spinach. A) Who thought of those ingredients and B) Can I have his/her autograph?

5) I got to call a small group of students to tell them that they were accepted into a highly competitive university program. Their excitement = better than heroin.

6) I'm about to make chocolate chip cookies.

7) Women's figure skating is on tonight and Rob is coming over.

Seriously, I was so overjoyed when I got home from work I didn't even know what to do with myself. First instinct was to call my Mom, but unfortunately, she's on a plane and unable to answer.* Thus, I did the only other thing I know how to do when I'm "totally, completely and incandescently happy"** which is, of course, to put on red lipstick. How are things so good right now? Keep it coming, universe!

*Sara, I'm jealous you get Mommy and Daddy for the weekend!

**Courtesy of Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice, duh!

Crime Alert!

Because I work for a University, I'm constantly getting "crime alert" emails that share details about campus robberies and other unlawful incidents. The indiscretion that dominates these crime alerts? The cell phone snatch.

The "cell phone snatch" is exactly as it sounds. Assailants will literally run up to people using their cell phones, grab the phone out of his or her hand, and run off. As someone who regularly talks on the phone while she is en route to various locations (Hi Mommy--thanks for talking to me all the time!), I am very perplexed by this idea. Doesn't it seem kind of absurd? What's the motive? I'd be willing to bet that the thieves already have cell phones and even if they don't, it's likely that the rightful owner would immediately turn off the service.

What am I missing here? ::strokes imaginary beard::

I'm obviously no Samantha Waters (automatic +10 for "Profiler" reference), as I have no understanding of the criminal mind.

In a Betsy-run universe crimes of this nature would not be allowed. Not because stealing is wrong, rather, it is SO INCONVENIENT to replace a cell phone/all the information in a cell phone. Big pat on the back to people who back up their address books on their computers, but since I'm not one of them, I shudder to think of how screwed I would be if an attacker tried to pry my Blackberry out of my hand. That's right potential robbers, it will be a mayjah fight to get my phone away from me, so don't even think about it.

Hey--You're still thinking about it, aren't you? STOP IT. Not an option for you.

Anyway, the real kicker is that Campus Police used to encourage students to talk on their phones while walking as a safety measure. Oops. Someone change that in the freshman handbook...

In truth, this is just one more reminder that I live in a city and need to be careful with myself and my belongings. Stay safe, DC!

Top o the mornin' to ya!

First things first, I hope you read the title of this post with an Irish accent. Moving on...

I enjoy sleep. Like, REALLY enjoy sleep. I invested in an awesome mattress, and there is no place I would rather be than my bed. Consequently, there are few things that I find compelling enough to make me wake up early. It's a short list, but see my list of exceptions below:

1) Yoga. Stretching feels unbelievably amazing and it's such a nice way to start the day. Anxiety, I banish thee!

2) Watching Family Guy before work (aka what I do when I don't wake up to do yoga).

3) Anything that involves taking care of friends. Example: some of my favorite friends are coming over for dinner tonight so I got up an hour early to make corn muffins from scratch. I have a feeling that I'm going to regret this decision when I wake up from an accidental desk nap at 3:30pm.

4) Getting to the DMV super early so I'm first in line! Please note that last time I had my vehicle issues handled by one of America's most disgruntled employees, I got to the office an hour and fifteen minutes early only to be third in line. Third! The wait wasn't a problem, but the indignity of not being first was highly frustrating. Next time, I'm getting there an hour and a half early so I! Can! Win!

5) Blogging. Or at least I did this morning. ::smiles::

Have a great day, Universe!

Two Days, Six Movies

It's snowmagedden in DC, so I haven't been oot and aboot much. Thankfully Rob, in all his splendor, has been a wonderfully entertaining friend. We spent the last two days holed up in his apartment eating WAY too much ice cream and filling his living room with belly laughs. Check out the weekend in film recapped below!

1) The Devil Wears Prada

Oh Andi Sachs, what I wouldn't give to look EXACTLY LIKE YOU (post-makeover). So gorgeous, so chic. Where do I sign up?

2) Don't Drink the Water

It's official--I really enjoy Woody Allen movies. You win, Rob.

3) The Green Mile

John Coffey vomits magic. VOMITS MAGIC.

4) Talk to Her

One of Pedro Almodovar's finest. Equal parts interesting and creepy.

5) Minority Report

Precrime, what a concept! Plus, I hope we have cool technology like that in 2054. Minus the retina scans, bien sur. They're a little too Big Brother for my taste.

6) Schindler's List

A terrifying look at the horrors of life in Nazi-occupied Poland. So gruesome, yet not gratuitous. What a masterpiece.

And thus I sign off to get some sleep before returning to work after the snow-caused sabbatical. One day until the three day weekend!